Ralph in progress
 

Here is phase 1 of the 40" x 34" commission which was designed by myself and the client, based on a professional photo.

The object of the game here is to set him against the hustle-bustle of the polo members' tent without diminishing his importance as the subject.

I have attempted to lay out the plan of action in an underpainting using cool color over a gesso-primed linen, toned with a touch of raw umber.

Your time to comment is very much appreciated.

Care
 

I'd take great care with placement and overlaps of figures, etc. Bouguereau would have made a separate drawing of each (as did N. Rockwell) and move the cartoons until the intersections work. I don't understand where the guy in the background's legs are, for example.

For those who may have arrived since we had a look at the reference photo and early drawings, they can be seen at http://forum.portraitartist.com/show...highlight=polo

This is an excellent point, Tim. It sounds like how Peggy Baumgaertner worked out the composition for "Lyn".

It seems to be the only way to really see what's happening, and how the eye will travel through the painting, although there are artists who can work out these issues in preliminary thumbnails.

Thank you all for comments and the referral back to the photo and sketch.

There I had been warned about the placement of the figure in the back. I actually tried him in a number of positions and eliminated him in one version. The decision to keep him where he is has to do with the "L" of light (standing figure to sitter's leg) as a basic pattern which I think works quite nicely.

This does not negate the need for care. I shall review the matter in the morning with a fresh eye.

I just tuned in and am sorry that I didn't see this at the photo stage.

Right now, the feet look strange...I know that they are meant to be lost in the grass, but you'll have to be very careful to make them look real...or you could crop them for an easy solution. This is not a desirable pose to make into a good painting.

Frankly, I don't think that the figure in the foreground comes across as large enough or important enough (partially because of his "defeated looking" posture). He looks small and unimportant and unfortunately my eye is drawn immediately to the standing figure (as his proportions seem wrong there too, i.e., legs and feet). I think that you need to tweak the proportions of your subject to make him look more heroic (nearly always a good idea with males). This will distort the "reality" of his anatomy a little, but the only thing that people will notice is that he "looks better."

I just found Sharon Knettell's post called "Polo Picture" in your photo critique thread and agree with all she has to say. I suggest that you review it as she is, I think, exactly on target. http://forum.portraitartist.com/show...0&pagenumber=2

I would suggest that you emphasize the subject in the foreground by making him larger, cropping, and really make something of design interest out of the hat and whatever else is on the bench beside him.

I would also suggest that you radically simplify the background (eliminate the figure with his back to us) and think in terms of value massing and design in order to enhance the subject. Indicating the tent and the activity therein can be done in a more abstract way and will serve to shift the focus back onto your subject.

Chris Saper said, "Good paintings go fast; bad paintings take forever."

However, despite the struggle ahead, I think that you have the talent to eventually pull this off whether you listen to my advice or not. :) Good luck.

Here is what I'm suggesting. Even though it is crude, I think a picture to illustrate my thoughts may help to clarify.

I radically simplified the background, enlarged the subject and altered his proportions slightly so that he might appear more "heroic" (and yes, his head is smaller). I also cropped his "problem" feet, emphasized the polo equipment next to him and played with the tent as a design feature at the top of the painting.

Karin, I see. Finally!

The New Ralph! Phase 1
 

OK. Wiped out and restated underpainting. It's a whole new Ralph. Important and, hopefully, triumphant.

I cannot thank you all enough for caring enough to persist in your comments.

Looking good, but don't forget to make his head a little bit smaller.

Looks good. I don't have the trained eye that others have, so I wasn't as bothered by some of the things that bothered them. What did bother me was not the man in the background (though I thought he was disproportionate), but the big number 1 on his uniform. The symbolism of a number one for a sports portrait is appropriate, but it was too much for the composition. I think your painting is much stronger now.

Polo Practice 3
 

This has acquired a title since my last post: "Polo Practice." I opted to eliminate the yellow sash of their play uniform for the plain practice shirt you see here.

I also wiped out and re-introduced background elements in a balancing act that now has me wishing for a shoulder massage.

Your comments will light my runway for landing this portrait next week.

Thank you and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

You might want to take a second look at your initial post. The lighter shadows - especially on the face - looked better and more realistic. This can be a problem when copying a poor photograph. Although the shadows appear very dark, they cannot be successfully painted that way.

On my monitor the contrast between light and shadow on his shirt/pants/helmet does not appear to be the same as it is on the face.

In other words, if the value difference between the light and shadow is 40% on the face, the same light/shadow ratio will register at 40% on the rest of the figure.

Sometimes it is easier to see what is going on if you look at a painting sans color.

Turn on the lights!
 

Thank you, Karin!

Your comments arrived just in the nick of time, as I will be going back into this today.

Here is a detail which I believe shows the shadows are not quite as dark as they appeared in my last post. Nonetheless I shall address your comments today while pumping up the lights elsewhere on the figure (shirt, arm, and boots).

I didn't hear any comments regarding the background. I have decided to leave it as is.

Thank you!
Jeanine

Background
 

Hi, Jeanine,

I'm looking forward to watching this progress. Regarding the background, I still see the #1 as a focal point. Try to decrease this as much as possible. Peggy Baumgartner"s "Fancy Lady" might be a good post to review on keeping the values low in backgrounds. I know you want to keep the other man there to help explain the polo theme of the painting but since that man is so large he attracts attention. I'm no pro, so take my suggestions as comments only, (but check Fancy Lady out anyway, just cause it's a wonderful painting).

Jean

Finished?
 

Here he is.

Polo Practice Detail
 

I really should re-photograph this in natural light. I just couldn't wait!

Jeanine,

This is very nice, I like the whole thing. The man's face is very well done. The little vase is bit of an eye catcher, I think it could be toned done a scosh. Maybe because it's set in front of the darkest background. What was the size again?

One more time with feeling, I really like it.

I agree with Mike and Jean as I still find the background to be much too dark and far too detailed.

As is, the foreground figure does not compete successfully for the viewer's attention.

The man's pants
 

Jeanine,

As I mentioned in an earlier post, you should have moved the background figure further to our right. Then the dark side of the man's face would have something lighter to play against. As it is, that side is completely lost and the background figure, especially the numeral "1", still competes for attention.

It seems to me the top of the picture is very dark, leaving the major focus on the bright white of his pants.

Sincerely,

Re: The man's pants
 

Dear Sharon:

Your keen observation and comments did not go unheard. After trying variations of it, I came back to my lost edge idea.

I can still re-work that piece behind him so that it is lighter that his face. That decision will be made today.

Thank you all so much for caring enought to keep after me. Even when I am being stubborn and thick-headed, I always appreciate your comments.

I, too, agree that the figure in the background, especially with the very strong, very graphic "1" on his back, is still much too eye-catching in the composition. I would, at a minimum, remove the number. Even if you subdue it 'til it is almost the same value and color as the shirt, its large size, graphic shape and significance as an immediately recognizable symbol will make the number 1 more dominant than you want.

No one else has mentioned it so maybe I'm the only one who thinks this but it appears to me, especially from the position of his arms, that the man in the background is urinating. (Does anyone else get that impression?!)

A couple of other things are slightly distracting, for me, in the background. (These are much less of a problem than than the standing man, though.) The woman on the right appears to be slouching, too. Perhaps the outline of her chest can be straightened up a bit to make that a more appealing shape. Also, the pitcher of water seems a bit too light in value and grabs more attention than it should, perhaps. Especially since the right edge of the subject's shirt is very close in value to the background, the pitcher seems just a bit too prominent for where it is.

Also, you mentioned that this is from a professional photo. Do you have the photographer's written permission to paint this from his image? Check out the copyright threads. Copyright problems can be very dangerous for artists.

:) LOL, yes! It was the first thing that struck me but I hesitated to say so. I tried to get around it by saying that simplifying the background and eliminating the figure would improve the painting. I am thankful that you are so direct Michelle, I regret that I wimped out on this one when I first saw it.