[Tom Edgerton]

ReNae--

Can't totally comment on accuracy since I can't get them both side by side, but the only thing I saw in the underpainting that stuck out was the proportion of the forehead. Things migrate as we paint, and the hairline has a tendency to slip upward. Seems you addressed it in the second version though.

I know you're trying to overcome the bleaching of the face by the flash, but be careful that you don't overwarm your lights. In the second version, I see warm shadows and warm lights, and most of the time, unless the lighting is very unusual, you will have warm lights/cool shadows or cool lights/warm shadows. Richard Schmid says this is the only absolutely true color rule, and I've found this to be pretty reliable. Remember, cool is a relative term. A cool shadow could still be red, but would be more alizarin and less sienna, for instance--doesn't mean it has to be green or blue.

Apart from that, be relentless with your values, and keep 'em simple. Also, I think that your value progression could be simpler in the coat--it's a little patchy now. A flash will always exaggerate contrast and contribute to this.

Also, to your question, the mouth has the right feel, but try slightly lightening the value of the upper lip, and making the (our) right end of it ever so slightly thinner. I usually put the upper lip in too dark and almost always have to lighten it up, which inevitably gives it a less pasted-on feel.

But overall, it's shaping up well.

I'll hold you all in the Light (as we Quakers say).