Dear Steven,
I can't tell you how much I appreciate your quick response to my request for a critique. All I can say is, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! It is exactly what I was looking for. Your atelier trained eye was able to hone in on this drawing's deficits, which are as numerous as I suspected.
Everything you pointed out are things that had been nudging at the edge of my consciousness; barely audible, but unfortunately not distinguishable voices, saying, "Something's not right here." You are spot on in every instance. The overmodeled shadow running from left armpit to collarbone, and that effect in various other places on the figure, definitely detracts from the the drawing. I believe I fell right into the "over-reliance upon your photographic reference" trap, having not understood that photos often exaggerate values at both ends, shadows in particular. But the effect was further aided by the attempt to compensate for the grey paper's lack of white value. Strangely enough, it did not occur to me to use white conte' or pastel pencil to punch up the high end of the value scale. Duh!
When you pointed out that the overmodeled veinous ridge on the right arm was an eye-catcher, it made so much sense. Indeed, most of my non-artist friends and relatives pointed out that very thing, admiring that I was able to render such detail.
Yet another trap laid by ignorant reliance upon my reference. The child, who was eight at the time, definitely did not display such an adult's anatomical trait.
One thing for sure is that faces are impossible to fake. They are either right or they are not. As I suspected in this case, not. That left eye had been bugging me for a long time. I knew something was wrong with it. Everytime I held the image up to the mirror, I could clearly see that it was "off", but I couldn't identify exactly how to fix it. Now, it's as clear as day that the left eye is sunk too deep in the skull, and that the respective disparities in width between the eyes and sides of the head contribute to the sense of "askew". I'd been so busy fretting about the face that I ignored the problem presented by the left ear. Once again, I leaned on the crutch of my photo, which lied to me. Had I known more about anatomy and perspective, I might have avoided this error.
All the modeling and anatomical problems of the hands and fingers which you pointed out, are clear now also. Thank you.
Alas however, there are some sailing terms you mentioned of which I am completely unfamiliar. I haven't a clue as to the meanings of, "leach" and "luff", nor their placement upon the sail's edges. Compounding matters is the fact that I don't know what the "trapezius muscle" is, nor where it is to be found on my model.
Suffice it to say, a good anatomy book for artists will be my next art reference purchase. More than likely, his muscles as not as pronounced as they appear in the drawing.
As to the little boat itself, unfortunately it has no rudder. Of that I am sure because, besides the terms, sail and deck, rudder is the only other sailing definition of which I have confident knowledge. The end of that limited knowledge butts right up to the term, transom.
What's a transom?
Steven, your critique has done me an invaluable favour. As I read it at about 3:00 this morning, I kept thinking, "Yes, so that's what I've been doing wrong!" It's like a list of things to avoid repeating in the future, broadening my understanding of sound artistic principles. Now, I'm more determined than ever to banish these weaknesses.
I only wish I had access to an atelier style art academy. It must be something akin to "boot camp" for artists, so exacting are the standards for excellence. But that's exactly what I desire. Having dedicated years studying at the Bougie School, you must have realized tremendous growth in every aspect of your art. I envy you, but more so, I admire your generosity. No one offers a more carefully considered and accurate critique than you do, passing on insights and understanding which you yourself received. Your assessment of my drawing energized and inspired me to aim for greater artistic proficiency. I believe I have the sensibilites of an artist. Now I need to hone my skills in order to best express them.