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I think the 12 year old might be the most savvy one in the family. The white linen dress has become a uniform for portrait sitters. I'd be delighted to portray girls who didn't want to wear them. I don't think of the white linen as "classic" for portraits, as they seem to be absent from portraits of centuries past. Someone in the last half of the 20th century decided to make them standard fare.
Make each portrait an individual expression, but keep them side by side as you paint, to keep a leash on harmony among them.
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