Flake white, ivory black and raw umber are my ingredients for neutral gray.
I generally eschew the use of compliments, especially those based on the standard color wheel (scientifically inaccurate) for reasons too numerous to mention here. Obviously my grays employ complementary colors but I base them on the five primary Munsel color wheel which is universally accepted as the standard of color measurement in industry. Black is a blue purple and raw umber is a yellow, true optical complements.
In terms of how to balance them I provide in-depth instruction and demonstrations on mixing grays as well as all colors, in my classes and workshops. Anyone who wants to save themselves years of scrambling around might consider this option. One demo is worth a million words!
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