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The focal point in most figurative pieces will almost always be the face, regardless of the composition. We seem to be just wired to focus on that area when there are images of people to look at. I see one or two sections of the face that I'd work on a bit more. The nose seems a bit too long and pointy, though it looks as though you have shortened it and made it less pointy than it was the first time you posted it. Also the mouth seems somewhat turned down, to give her a sour expression. Look closely and the lips and the areas surrounding them. I think these two changes will go a long way toward your goal.
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