[Garth Herrick]

Hi Jennifer,

What a nice subject to paint. It was helpful to see your drawing with the photo reference as you posted it.

I have taken the liberty of a digital demonstration with your pictures.

Some suggestions:

Based on the color of your posted pictures (assuming it's close to accurate) the hair color you have rendered seems too red. It maybe should have warmer more sienna like tones. Also the highlights should relate better chromatically.

A: Should be darker, more burnt sienna.
B: Should be a real color that relates to the hair color.
C: Less spectrum red and more sienna.

Many parts of the drawing need better transitions.

D: Too light and too jumpy. Look at this transition in the photo.
E. Watch how his cheek transitions to shade in the photo.
F: Warmer and deeper in the photo.
G: Much deeper and warmer.
H: A highlight. Above this it needs better transitions.
I: Much deeper and warmer. It should relate better to the hair color.
J: Hair should not go too black yet.
K: Try to tie the colors better together here.

I know this is a lot to adjust, but I think it will begin to make it work better. Sorry if I'm being too heavy handed. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Garth