Hi Cynthia,
I realize the dilemma and frustration you must be feeling right now. Indeed, this is not an easy task, even for me as an Asian.
But just to contribute an idea, I'm now working on a near-posthumous painting of a lady, who wanted to be remembered in a certain manner. The point about her wanting to be dressed sexily, and admiring butterflies needs to be touched on sensitively! So what
I do is, to base on current photographs, and find some clothing references that can fit her and still make her look good. In the end, I managed to find somewhat of a nightie that reminds me of the models in William Whitaker's paintings (dunnowhatyoumaycallit!
)
So with her pose, and my pencils, I started to draw her with that outfit first! So now, it turned out well (though I haven't showed her yet) but with this drawing, I can later use it as my guide for the full painting!
Oh by the way, Sikhs are also known as Punjabs, from the Indian(?) state of Punjabis...those who wear turbans...so what you can look at are infos on punjabi wedding customs. I'm sure there are lots of descriptions on the web and books. Hope this is helpful to you.