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David,
Sorry I missed this while I was away. It's a truly lovely, honest and perceptive portrait of a real person. I admire that in all your work. In fact, the excellence and personality of your work transcends the issue of "tight " vs. "loose," so no matter where your style goes from here, you should have no fear of losing that essential quality!
I started out painting much more tightly, and I felt dissatisfied because I always wanted to paint more loosely. I remember how thrilling it was when I first heard my brush work described as "loose" and "expressive!" But it took a long time. I would say painting from life made a big difference but again it didn't happen overnight. The other thing that has helped me is painting landscapes. Since you are not worried about getting a likeness, you can "sing for yourself" as in Thomasin's metaphor. There are so many ways to move your brush, so many directions, lengths of stroke, and so many choices of brushes! Each stroke should be as descriptive as possible. You will eventually find yourself painting almost like writing, as brush strokes are like handwriting, very individual.
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