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You are right, Joan, there is no correct answer. If the light moves you, go with it. Just be constantly on the lookout for a beautifully lit subject and then, if you can't take a photo right at that moment, try to replicate the light for your painting.
Personally I like the light in the two reference photos of your daughter and your mother's friend the best. The light/shadow relationship is definitely not too subtle and, in fact, is excellent for a portrait. If you're going to be painting from life in a studio with the dark green-gray walls, make sure there is a good, clear, even light coming from the window and move the person near the light source. If you take a photo, you can manually set the light meter for the light side of the face, or use spot metering taken from the light side. Were you using artificial light for both of the dark photos? That might not work very well, but I couldn't say for sure, since I've never tried it. (My studio walls are off-white.)
Alex
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