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Lisa,
This is a very beautiful drawing, you've obviously had it in you. I also have the Ryder book, very informative. The first thing that hits me tho, that it's on yellow paper. Could also be the screen, but the white looks strong , almost fighting the yellow.
Someone please correct me, I also don't like working on the rough side, but I heard that the mounted Canson paper exposes the rough side, making it sound like the 'correct' side. When I buy single sheets at Pearl Paint, the price label is on the rough side.???
Canson makes a tan-gray color with a 'speckled' look which takes pencil and white highlights beautifully. Good luck with your new direction.
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