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Sandy,
Regarding working with the child..I would go through your photos and narrow down the "almosts" and schedule a new sitting. Take note of time of day it was, bring an assistant (your friend, etc.) to hold a reflector, and keep the family out of it. Interact w/ the child first, talk to her, etc. and show her the previous shots, asking for her help. I've found children surprisingly cooperative when you involve them in the "project".
Then, mount your camera on a tripod and shoot from one direction for 15 or so shots. Keep the girl occupied in one place if you can, so you may have as little pose changes as possible. Go to another angle, shoot another 15 or so in that spot, and so on.. Basically, I'm advising to have a flurry of similar angles, similar lighting to choose from and put together. It's really unusual to find all you need in one shot.
You'll know when you hit the right pose. Then, take the close-ups of all you need. Lastly, DO NOT show the family all of the shots. Edit them yourself based on what you are confident will work. If need be, re-shoot. Believe me, its not unusual to do this, clients understand (usually).
Good luck! Hope this helps.
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