Pat--
There's a lot of good advice here, so I can't add much.
The eyes are so similar that it makes me suspect the problem one is a little too hieroglyphic/symbolic, and not realistically observed. Blow up your reference to the same size as your painted head, first of all. Tape it as close to the portrait as you can, and on the same angle--put tape on the top and the bottom. This will more closely simulate painting sight/size from life. You can't paint what you can't see.
Also, try drawing the eye as a series of short, straight lines, to more accurately observe the linear angles in it, then smooth some of these into curves. The curves are probably a little too "curvy" and stylized, contributing to the symbolic aspect. They told you in first grade that eyes are two curved lines in an almond shape, with a circle in the middle, but in reality, they rarely are. In other words, you may be painting the eye you were taught instead of the eye you see.
Best as always--TE
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