Time Management: How do you do it?

[Michele Rushworth]

Art is like a second lover. In many cases the relations in our lives realize they come in second place to our art. That is not an easy place to be for many people. It would be a lot more stimulating for many of them to just move on to a person who can give them all they crave. With that in mind let us think how we can show undying love and affection for the significant other and let him or her know that they are not the INsignificant other.

Very thoughtful words!

[Patt Legg]

Mr. Emmolo--I can appreciate your view here but must say I am confused as to which Pat, Patricia--have you replied to Maybe both or all of us Patricias.

I first assumed it was me, Patt Legg but after your comment of "over 700" posts-I began to wonder. If you will notice I have only posted 230 times and the period is over 3 years.

Just my opinion of course. I am only speaking for myself but here goes:I shall only say that I may need "affidavits" or proof from my 5 adult children to verify the many hours I have put into "my relationship"over the years. Let's just say, I can do my own electrical wiring, roofing, building a deck, mending fences on 70 acre farm, cutting, stacking and carrying firewood in 10 degrees above 0, ironing, cooking 3 square meals a day for over 25 years ( at least 95% of them with everyone at the table at one time) motor-pool to/from meetings, cub scouts, 4-H, seeing 5 kids graduate with honors from high school, 3 of which went through college, moving 3 times with my hubby as that is what a wife does (in loving voice) supporting spiritually and emotionally through your spouses physical pain, bankruptcy, losing his self esteem, building character through all of his needs, adding notes between his sandwich slices occasionally ( love notes), setting up private " get aways" for us both on the sly after 20 years of marriage, acquiring his admiration in front of all of his friends as he states,'I would rather work with my wife than any man I know" she can read my mind.", -----
need I say more and believe me, I can say more.

Now Anthony, don't take this personally but

It helps greatly to have support from home on that issue. I feel lucky there. I have always gotten that support.

do you feel that the above resembles support? I must say in all honesty and with utmost respect to your opinion but I note that the support you are receiving is from "your wife" Correct?

I am not whining when I say, "it's time for me". I can say that and still have time to carry him coffee.

Best Regards
Patt

[Patt Legg]

Michele, I had not seen your reply quote until I had posted.

It would be a lot more stimulating for many of them to just move on to a person who can give them all they crave

I merely wish to add that some of us have lived this way for over 40 years and hope to be reciprocated in the next portion of our lives . For some of us we have been dedicated to our loved ones and still are but wish to have some consideration as being "validated" with the very life that we have worked toward. My art has taken LAST place for nearly all of those years and happily so. Now, I want to NOT feel guilty for the rest of them. Make sense??

I figure I speak for some of us anyway.

Patt

[Anthony Emmolo]

Hello again,

More thoughts on losing time.

I'm sitting in my studio painting and I found myself once again moving the brush with little to no concentration. What was the issue today? My part-time job here in Shanghai is English teaching. It pays well enough to keep me going comfortably when paintings don't sell. When they do, it is nice extra money. Well, two weeks ago we learned that our boss ran off to Taiwan without paying us a month and a half salary. The police are after her now, and her sales staff, teachers, school bus drivers and cleaning crew are all out a month and a half salary. My loss came out to $1,500US. My other loss came out to loss of concentration in the studio. I believe anyone would tell me I am correct for being angry, but still what do I get for it? Nothing but lost time. My feeling is that one way to be a real professional in this field is to grow through it. To use the pains that come into our lives to become a new person. To be used by those same pains is the sad truth for most of us, but with the aim toward inner growth, we can use the pain and not lose the valuable time we need.

Maybe I am speaking only for myself here, but I suspect we are all subject to this weakness to some degree or another.

By the way, it is this idea that fueled my recent thread called Chicken Soup for the Artist's Soul. (Catchy title, maybe I should write a book.)

Good luck to us all.
Anthony

[Michele Rushworth]

Sounds like your recent commitment to your art is well deserved, Pat. Go for it!

[Patt Legg]

I appreciate that so very much Michele. I am afraid that I have been caught with some of my pain showing as in the following quote--

To use the pains that come into our lives to become a new person. To be used by those same pains is the sad truth for most of us, but with the aim toward inner growth, we can use the pain and not lose the valuable time we need.

Anthony, you are so right. I feel saddened for your loss. Maybe we can relate after all. Some of my irritation is due to similar circumstances and I am afraid that I have had a reaction to your words out of fear, sadness, and worry for some happenings in my own life at this time.

Thanks for letting me blow off steam and I pray that your life takes a brighter turn.

One door does not close without opening yet another one.

Take care
Patt

[Patricia Joyce]

I guess time managment has just become easier.

[Anthony Emmolo]

Hello Patricia,

I hope you are OK with your phone call. Things like this can hurt. We all know that. I just had the same thing happen to me a few hours ago. My Shanghainese girlfriend who needs more security than I can give her, just told me that she's been having an affair with another man. So, I told her to leave the house. I still don't know who dumped who. I guess I got dumped.

Anyway, it is times like this that we can remember how lucky we are to have our art work. The concentrated energy that goes into our artwork at times like this is what will make us new people over the years. The everyday thoughts, happinesses, pains are one thing, but this type of thing is like rocket fuel in attempts to grow emotionally. Real grief, worked with at the easel or in any way that we can, with no resentment, just accepting that what was given to us was our fate, is all we can do.

Good luck,
Anthony

Do I make any sense, or do I sound strange?

[Patricia Joyce]

Yeah, you make sense. I know that when I work on my art I get excited and happy. I am getting settled in my apartment and guess what, I have a huge living room and dining room and second bedroom that all have hardwood floors and northlight windows in the dining room.

who needs furniture? I have only taken what I can move myself and this leaves LOTS of space for my art. I can't wait to start working this weekend on my next art project.


Good luck to you. I hope you are ok.

Be thinking of you

[Kimberly Dow]

Pat, I hope your doing fine.

As hard as it sounds, you may be better off. If your having to do all the cooking, cleaning and work...your going to be resentful years down the road. The other Pat's story is all too familiar.

I wonder if because we love our art so much - it gives our families more reasons to resent it and treat it like a hobby? How many accountants love what they do and spend extra time at work? Because we arent moaning and complaining that we have work to do....like so many people who dont love their jobs, it's easy for our families to see it as a pleasure, not 'work.' My husband calls my painting time 'relaxation' (even though I bring in a significant part of the income). He compares my painting time to his TV viewing time in terms of stress vs. relaxation. I couldnt imagine wasting the time he does watching TV. He is right about one thing- I love what I do - we are lucky - those of us who get to do this. It shoudnt be a mark against you if you love what you do. If you have a significant other who doesnt help with the chores, kids, etc.... the only thing you can do at times is just to know you aren't doing anything wrong. It isnt wrong to let stuff slide if he/she wont help. It isnt wrong to expect the other person to carry their weight. It doesn't always work....so many partnerships are unbalanced and we cant make people do what we want always. Sometimes, we just have to suck it up and sleep less. And not let the discouraging, whining, selfish people in our lives bring us down.

I read something the other day that was funny...and could help anyone who is about to get into a relationship. The tip was 'If you dont want to be doing it all yourself for 20 years - dont start out doing it." In other words - if you dont want to be the only one in your house cleaning or cooking - dont start the relationship out by cooking and cleaning all the time thinking your partner will step up and appreciate you and do more later. It doesnt work that way...people naturally become spoiled and expect it. Make your expectations clear from the begining. Dont be afraid to get what you need. And don't settle for less than what you need. If you know you need your art - so make sure you insist that be a priority.

This isnt just a female problem...although that seems to be the majority. Women's Liberation didn't do much to help women as far as I can see. Now most women still raise the children, do the cooking and chores - but also have full-time jobs. I know a male artist though who is in the same boat.

Here is to all of us -
and all the trials and tribulations involved in making art a career. In many ways we are so lucky.