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Hi Mike,
I think the light and shadow effect looks very good! I love the cropped version because it draws my attention to her face and eyes better. The uncropped version with the hand is a bit distracting.
There are a few things that I noticed from the painting:
Her eyes: The pupils are not of the same size. The eyeballs do not seem to be of the right shape. They look a bit flat rather than spherical. The eye whites are also a bit too light. You may want to give a bit more highlight to the brow bone above her right eye. Also, the colour just above her eyes seems to be on the warmer side. It looks like red/orange on my monitor. If it is, I think I would make it a bit cooler.
Cheekbones: They are not of the same level. The subject's left cheekbone is higher than the other one.
Colour: I see a sudden disruption in colour from her cheekbones to the area around her eyes (a warm red/orange to a violet). I think you may want to tone down the violet around her eyes and forehead a little, and blend the colours from the cheekbone to the eyes (maybe some midtone cool pink) to give it a smooth transition.
These are my humble suggestions. Hope you find them helpful!
Mai
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