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Pam,
The mouth can be de-emphasized by lowering the intensity of the lip color, or making the value 'lighter' without adding brightness to the mouth as a whole. I have no problem at all with your 'impressionistic' handling of the shirt. The form reads well the way it is, always the criterion to use. Better to 'suggest' than to go in the direction of realism - especially in a head-and-shoulders, where 'vignetting' or suggesting are always good choices. In finer realistic rendering the demands for accuracy increase exponentially. As far as positioning the figure, 'centering' is not always desirable, but the interplay of the negative shapes (in connection with other dynamic elements in the figure itself) must be carefully observed and designed.
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